A THOUGHT FROM ME
“What if the reassurance you’re searching for from other people is something only you can give yourself?”
DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR?
You may find yourself feeling more confident when people are supportive, complimentary or encouraging, only to feel uncertain when that reassurance disappears. A positive comment can lift you up, whilst criticism, disapproval or silence can affect you far more than you’d like.
At times, it can feel as though your confidence is constantly being influenced by how other people respond to you. The result is that your emotional wellbeing becomes tied to something you can never fully control.
WHAT MAY REALLY BE HAPPENING
The moment your value depends on somebody else’s approval, your peace of mind goes with it.
Most people enjoy encouragement, recognition and positive feedback. The difficulty begins when those things become requirements rather than bonuses. Instead of appreciating approval, you begin relying on it. Instead of checking in with yourself first, you start looking elsewhere for confirmation that you’re doing okay.
This is often where external validation becomes exhausting. Your confidence rises and falls depending on how other people respond, whether they agree with you, support you or recognise your efforts. Over time, this can weaken self-belief, create anxiety in relationships and leave you feeling disconnected from your own sense of worth.
A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE
Approval feels powerful because it provides certainty for a moment.
The problem is that certainty never lasts. Someone else’s opinion can change, circumstances can change and different people will always see you differently.
A more stable foundation is built when your opinion of yourself carries at least as much weight as everyone else’s. External encouragement can still feel good, but it no longer becomes responsible for your confidence.
SOMETHING TO CONSIDER
Whose approval are you still waiting for before allowing yourself to feel good enough?
