A THOUGHT FROM ME
“What if setting boundaries isn’t selfish? What if it’s one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself and your relationships?”
DOES THIS SOUND FAMILIAR?
You may agree to things you don’t really want to do, take on more than you have time or energy for or find yourself saying yes when every part of you wants to say no. Afterwards, you can feel frustrated, overwhelmed or even resentful, yet the next time the situation arises, you find yourself doing exactly the same thing again.
For some people, saying no feels uncomfortable. For others, it feels almost impossible. The thought of disappointing somebody, upsetting them or being seen in a negative way can be enough to override what they genuinely need.
WHAT MAY REALLY BE HAPPENING
The difficulty isn’t usually saying no. It’s dealing with what you fear might happen afterwards.
Beneath the struggle there is often a fear of rejection, conflict, criticism, disappointing others or being viewed as selfish. Over time, people can become so focused on protecting other people’s feelings that they stop paying attention to their own needs. This is one of the reasons why people pleasing, weak boundaries and emotional exhaustion so often appear together.
The deeper irony is that constantly saying yes doesn’t usually create healthier relationships. More often, it creates frustration, resentment and a growing disconnect from yourself because your needs are repeatedly being pushed to the bottom of the list.
A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE
Perhaps boundaries are not walls designed to keep people out. Perhaps they’re guidelines that help create healthier, more honest relationships.
The people who are most respected are not always the people who say yes, the most. More often, they’re the people who communicate clearly, respect their own limits and can say no when they genuinely need to.
SOMETHING TO CONSIDER
Where in your life are you saying yes to keep somebody else comfortable whilst making yourself uncomfortable?
